Grief is the most profound emotion you’ll ever experience. It can wreak havoc on your immune system and leave you vulnerable to a variety of physical ailments. Here are some tips on how to deal effectively with grief and loss.
PREPARE FOR LOSS
How you deal with grief depends to a large extent upon your perspective and preparedness to deal with loss. Fear, not grief, is often the culprit. Don’t let fears of death (yours or that of a loved one) immobilize you to the point that you deny your grief. Denial can lead to chronic disorientation. Develop adaption skills before you face a major loss.
DISCUSS ANTICIPATED CHANGES
You can prepare for more serious setbacks if you think about them honestly and plan what to do. One way to prepare is to talk about it beforehand. Frank discussion about emotions, as well as resources such as finances, etc., can help you prepare.
PRACTICE GRIEVING SKILLS DAILY
Look at life as an opportunity to practice grieving skills on a daily basis and you can better prepare for the more serious setbacks. Missing an appointment, getting stood-up by a date, facing financial setbacks or loss of independence – these daily losses offer you the opportunity to practice grieving skills. Learn to deal with the anger, rage, guilt, impatience and acceptance of these losses as a preview of the way you’ll handle the major losses.
LEARN THE STAGES OF DYING – AND LIVING
The five stages of dying are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They’re also the five stages of living. Be aware of these stages when facing small daily losses and grief will become a healthy, natural part of living.
HONOR YOUR FEELINGS
Sorrow, guilt, anger, depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety, and shame are all normal emotions associated with bereavement. Don’t be afraid to voice these emotions openly and honestly. By telling your story to family and friends over and over, you clarify in your mind what has happened and how you really feel about it, and you learn to accept the reality of the loss.
TRY A HEALTHY CRY
Crying can provide a healthy outlet. Tears carry away toxins that are produced during emotional shocks and can relieve tension and stress.
SEEK A NURTURING SOCIAL NETWORK
Mourners who have the support of family and friends fare much better than those who don’t. Surround yourself with loved ones who can support you through the grieving stages.
EAT RIGHT
With the added stress of grieving, it’s important to stay physically healthy. Make sure that your eating habits remain stable. Don’t eat too much or too little. Choose nutritious foods and make sure you drink plenty of caffeine-free and alcohol-free beverages.
GET PLENTY OF REST
Rest when you feel the urge and maintain normal sleeping patterns. Don’t push yourself to keep busy or preoccupied at all times. Grief isn’t something you can run away from. Rest and solitude are regenerative.